The Glamorous Life of an Author…Heh

I roll out of bed at 10am and eat a few bonbons. My special assistant dresses me in my Gucci (I’m old school) and arranges my coiffure, then brings me a few delicacies for breakfast. After I’ve finished my pot of Kopi Luwak coffee, I stroll into my office and wait for inspiration. If inspiration hasn’t arrived by, say, 2pm, I go back to bed.

Well, I kind of wish I could do it that way (although, what the heck is a bonbon anyway?). In reality, I have to be up by 7:30am so I can feed my diabetic cat and give him his insulin injection. I drag on a pair of ratty jeans and a T-shirt, stuff my feet into slippers and toddle downstairs. I do often spend a little too much time reading the paper during breakfast (usually a bowl of bran flakes mixed with Honey Nut Cheerios), but I’m generally at my desk by 9am. I don’t wait around for inspiration because that brat sleeps later than I do. I have to gut it out through whatever scene I’m currently working on by sheer sweat and perseverance until that prissy Miss Inpira shows up.

No glitzy coast-to-coast book tours (at least not yet), although I did attend an Society of Childrens Book Writers & Illustrators conference last month. Got a deluxe buffet breakfast at the Best Western (complete with stale scones), some kick-ass BBQ, and a killer Thai dinner with my editor:

My editor, Stacy Whitman, and I pose in the Best Western lobby just before the triffid behind me drags me off. Barely escaped. Pretty harrowing.

I’m sure there are authors living actually glamorous lives. In fact I know one of them personally. But although he lives in a pretty swanky house and does those book tours, he works his butt off when it comes to writing the books that his fans love. He’s not twiddling his thumbs in expectation that Mr. Inspiro will show up any minute and whisper into his ear every word of the scene he has to write.

Alas. Would that it were so.

But if anyone wants to send me a box of bonbons, my P.O. Box is on my website:

About karensandler

Lover of chocolate. A couple felines short of full-fledged Cat Lady. Author of the YA Tankborn Trilogy (TANKBORN, AWAKENING, and REBELLION), from Tu Books. Founding team member of We Need Diverse Books. Opinions expressed here are my own.
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